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World wide protests at Justin Bieber’s shit birthday
The worlds population as a whole have been urged to ‘remain calm’ as shockwaves resulting from teen crooner Justin Bieber’s ‘worst birthday ever’ have caused worldwide protests. Up to a quarter of the...
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Britain braces itself for Queen’s birthday pub crawl
The Queen is due to celebrate her birthday privately amongst family and friends according to Buckingham Palace. However, the night before is open to anyone and will involve an eight hour binge around...
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Queen urged to stop milking it
The Queen has been urged to stop milking it with the incessant rounds of birthdays, official birthdays, jubilees and anniversaries of coronations according to an insider from the British public. “It’s...
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J.Lo to entertain oppressive regimes less frequently
Singer Jennifer Lopez has assured human rights activists and concerned members of the public that she plans to entertain oppressive regimes far less frequently, and intends to keep private concerts...
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Entire population of Sri Lanka play musical chairs for Prince Charles’ birthday
The entire population of Sri Lanka have been spending the day running around an ever decreasing circle of chairs to music, having been forced to play musical chairs to celebrate Prince Charles’...
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Don’t make a fuss about my birthday says God
In a rare statement God has gone on record to say he’s not that arsed about his birthday this year and really doesn’t want people to make a fuss. Speaking via the medium of vicars the supreme being...
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Queen to down 90 pints
The Queen is to down 90 pints live on TV to celebrate her birthday on Thursday according to a statement issued by the palace. A spokesman for the Queen said “Her Majesty her the royal highness the...
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Grovelling British subjects thank the Queen for letting them pay for her...
Grovelling British subjects throughout Britain have come together to thank her Royal Highness for having a party at their expense without actually being invited themselves and no sodding bank...
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